HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT IN YOUR FAMILY

Introduction:

Conflict is a natural part of any family dynamic. Whether it's a disagreement with a sibling, a clash of parenting styles, or tension with in-laws, conflicts can arise in various forms. However, how we address and resolve these conflicts can significantly impact the overall health of our family relationships. In this blog, we'll explore effective strategies and techniques to deal with conflict in your family, promoting understanding, communication, and harmony.

1.    Maintain Open Communication:

Establishing open and honest communication is the first step in settling family disputes. Encourage family members to communicate their emotions, ideas, and worries without passing judgement. Understanding and empathy are fostered through actively listening to one another. It is never that someone of your very close bond is wrong about you; its just the mentality or misunderstanding. Talking patiently and making sure that the other side is also calm starts with internal maturity and hold of control.

2.    Select the Appropriate Time and Location:

When resolving disagreements, time and place are important. Find a quiet, private location where everyone can gather and address the matter without interruptions. The best option is in a locked room at home itself. When under intense stress or rage, refrain from discussing delicate subjects. Making a mess out of a topic in a public place, in a residential area, on recording (camera or voice), or purposely escalating the matter in presence of an external audience can cause extreme embarrassment and a feeling of hatred to arise inside of the member. If a mutual understanding of the surroundings is inculcated, it can lessen the possibility of worsening of a topic.

3.    Develop your empathy:

Conflict resolution requires empathy. Try to comprehend other family members' viewpoints and emotions. Ask them questions to better understand their viewpoint, which may help you identify areas of agreement. It is natural to lock all doors of view points for a specific matter when anger kicks in, but external control does not help. It is necessary to calm down and handle the situation with utmost sympathy. When the opposite member sees you trying to delicately balance the conflict, there might be a strong chance of them to take a step back to some extent.

4.    Prevent Escalation:

When there is a dispute, emotions can get out of control and escalate. It's crucial to keep your composure and stay calm. Consider taking a pause to calm yourself if things get too hot before continuing the conversation. And one thing to keep in mind – no violence. If the opposing party is really mad, you might regret your actions, and we don't want that, do we?

5.    Concentrate on Answers: 

     Instead than focusing on the issue at hand, try to identify solutions. Encourage family members to collaborate on ideas and find a solution that meets everyone's needs. Only talk if at that moment nobody is, and try to agree with every possible person while recommending a solution. Or, you could have this done on paper or on chat. This helps avoid shouting and chaos, and makes the process of extraction of a solution from mindless shouting easier, efficient and smooth.

6.    Seek Mediation if Required: 

     Family disputes occasionally call for outside mediation. A qualified therapist or counsellor can offer an objective viewpoint and direct the family toward settlement. If not an external helper, you might find it useful asking an elderly member or a trusted friend or family member. Whatsoever you do, remember that each and every aspect is to be given to the person helping and nothing to be hidden even out of embarrassment or shame. It is also necessary for each person to individually go and talk to the helping person, and not everybody at once so that all can keep forward their motive and intention, while preventing further disputes.

7.    Forgiveness and Healing: 

      It's critical to forgive and move on after a resolution has been found. The healing process can be hampered and relationships can become even more strained if grudges or resentment are held onto. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes, and concentrate on improving. If there is a dispute, it is necessary to note the point that if you are involved in it, you have a wrong point, too. It is wrong to keep from forgiving someone when part of the dispute was caused by you, who is not even asking for forgiveness, right? After there is an understanding between the two or more of you, there shouldn't be any further talking about it. Rather, you guys could actually take a break and perhaps go for a vacation together! Hey, how does that sound?

8.    Establish Boundaries: 

      It's just as important to prevent disputes as it is to settle them. To avoid future misunderstandings, establish clear expectations and boundaries within the family. Repeated interference and omission of privacy is one of the major reasons why never-ending disputes take place in well-going families. Make sure your boundaries are defined, and also ensure the fact that the others are made to do so, too. For instance, knocking before entering the room, not unnecessarily picking others' calls or checking chats and messages, etc. This small step can stop innumerable fights in the house.

9.    Regular Family Meetings: 

      Consider holding regular family meetings to address concerns and maintain open communication. These meetings can provide a platform for discussing issues before they escalate. If ever there is something you'd like to open up, you would ideally want to open up to your family rather than a counselor, if and only if they are not going to react real bad to it. Ultimately, they are your loved ones till the end of your life, and right from the start of it, too.

10. Eat Together to Stay Together:

      A family that sits around and has food together is practically seen to have stronger bonds than usual families. Gossips from here and from there, stories from work and school, about your hectic day, gifts from far away or next door, how your boss gonna give you promotion, just so much to talk about. Not that you won't talk, because at the end of the day you love them so much and they love you so much, you guys can't resist from talking with each other!

Conclusion: 

Conflict is an inevitable part of family life, but it doesn't have to be destructive. By approaching conflicts with empathy, active communication, and a focus on solutions, you can transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and stronger family bonds. Remember, a harmonious family is built on understanding and the willingness to work through conflicts together.